Some ideas are better than others

Good afternoon. Or morning or... whatever. Please, have a seat. Are you comfortable? So, how are things? Alright? Listen:

I have an idea.

Where are you going? Come back!

Now, where was I? Oh yeah. Imagine an office. No, a bigger one. Think tennis court big. Picture a giant desk and sunlight sieving through the blinds to stripe it. The air smells of dust and leather and mahogany and cigars.

The people behind the desk are a terrifying mass of suits, jewellery, gray hairs... and experience.

What? Yes, it's basically Dragon's Den. Look, just go with it.

A young man enters. He marches towards the desk and stops when the Persian rug muffles his steps. His suit is worn, his tie askew. His hair is a mess and he clearly hasn't shaved for days. But his eyes burn with madness and determination. He reaches into his suitcase and...

Alright, fine. I just wanted to set the scene. Ready?

Eyeglashes.

Bam!

They're eyelashes on eyeglasses! They go together like saxophones and jazz.

If you're wondering why Sean Connery has these things badly photoshopped onto his face, just say the word out loud.

I'm thinking millions will be made with this invention.

Right?

Guys?

Anyone?

...

(Yes, I spent a hundred thousand years photoshopping lashes onto glasses to go on Sean Connerys mug. I regret nothing.)

Autumn Falls

Hahaa, it’s autumn!

So this is about darkness, of course and here’s why:

It’s comfortable. It’s a justification to bury yourself in comfort, like blankets, hot drinks, movies, books, chocolate… and silence.

It’s just how I’ve always been. Alright, sure I was afraid of the dark as a kid. At that point I was pretty much afraid of air, fearing that if I put my nose too far out from under the blankets it would rain murder down on me. But kids fear everything in the dark.

"IT'S GOING TO EAT ME AND SPIT OUT MY BONES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER!"

Still, there is someone who seems to like dark even more than I do, and that would be the cat. We have darkening bedroom curtains that make the room pretty much pitch black, yet the cat feels like it needs to get in the closet nearly every night when the lights go out. What, is near-perfect dark not dark enough for you?

Pictured: Not dark enough.

Look, cat, I get you. I, too, would like to live at night, but we can’t. The world isn't like that, cat. I’m sorry.

"What is 'World' and can I eats it between naps?"

Anyhow. With autumn I can almost feel like my internal clock isn’t four hours behind. I like seeing the streets take on a yellow tinge from the street lights. I like the spine-tingling feeling of hearing nothing but the wind while standing at a crossroads and watching the cityscape twist in the swaying light.

Give me a book and a sofa corner and warm socks and I'm good.

Edit: don't mind this...

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Ready to Jump

Today I had a sudden moment of clarity. During the World Cup final pregame talk show I realized what I was watching: two bald men talking passionately about people poking a faux-leather bag of air around a grass pitch with their feet really fast.

The reason for this brief moment of sobriety is as follows: Tomorrow a plane will take me and my girlfriend to UK for six weeks. We're pretty much jumping straight in. All we have is our backpacks filled with life's necessities, a few ideas of where to go and an itch, a tingle of excitement that makes your neck hair stand up and your stomach flutter. 

Then the moment passed. After all, this is the world championship of poking a bag of air really fast around a grass pitch with your feet we're talking about.

But there is the itch.

It's going to be awesome.

(PS: Yay, Germany!)